Caught at a door cross-roads at Gare de Midi (South Station in Brussels). I like this image as it sort of describes my current state of in-between-ness. Being of part-Dutch, part-angloAustralian origin, I really feel the connection to Brussels (especially the Flemish part). One door open (SPILL Festival, London), one door shut/blocked (where to go now?). Brussels seems like a transition place but also very much a consideration of where to live, where to place myself. This has been an ongoing question since I left Australia in 1999. 8 years of not feeling connected to the place I thought was home, was it Canada? Was it in the US (no way!)? And then always knowing that Europe (probably western and not surprisingly perhaps) would be that place. Looking at all the nederlandse around me and the signposts (literally and figuratively) I become comfortable with it. Speaking with the Flemish in Antwerp and knowing that I am understood. Listening to the street sounds and conversations, the noises of the Metro, the boys at Nadine (again, a Flemish post) - funny how I have found myself in places not-so French. Recognising the language and only a little way from Holland. It could be so easy to stay in Brussels despite money. I know there is a community here. And I know to be in proximity to the UK is also important for me. I want to speak Dutch, if not Flemish. Start with Dutch. Learn my mother's tongue. Don't be afraid to lose English (like speaking with a hot potatoe in one's mouth). Don't be afraid of the potential of love away from home (my husband is not in Australia). Making tiny recordings in Antwerp last night, I know that my compositional thread is far across the seas.
